Feeling the love ❤

I've had an incredibly stressful few weeks recently including not one, but two meltdowns at work and I still haven't got my hearing aid sorted out and everyone is still wearing masks and my husband is starting his second cycle of chemo but I thought I would take a moment and focus on the positives.

This past week my husband celebrated his 50th birthday - and it really became clear to us yesterday how much love and support there is out there for us. Johnny had so many gifts and cards and we were honestly blown away by all your thoughtful gestures. We ended up with three amazing chocolate birthday cakes, messages and calls and it was so uplifting.

We bought Johnny a lego Millennium Falcon and I was hoping it would last a few weeks, but no, the boys and him, are just doing the last pieces now! They were all together in the sitting room working on it and I just loved that! I also love how they never seem to grow out of lego. A friend blessed us with a large storage unit so we can display all our lego creations! We will be showing them off when we can finally have people to visit.

We have had family and friends drive Johnny to hospital appointments when I've not been able to, friends have been picking up prescriptions and we have had lots of friends just simply texting asking if we need anything. One friend went round three supermarkets looking for items on my shopping list and I was so touched by the lengths he took to do it. I have friends on 'standby' who will go shopping for us as and when we need it and that means so much. You know who you are and we love you all!

At work, we have regular zoom calls twice a week with colleagues and they have really taken the time to understand what my needs are and the speakers look directly into the camera and the songs have subtitles! My colleagues are now wearing clear masks at work and I'm so grateful - its made a huge difference to how I feel. I'm starting to feel a little more confident and I'm hoping that will grow. My colleagues, who I've only known a few weeks have been brilliant and so understanding and they have allowed me to take things at my own pace. When I've felt overwhelmed about lack of communication, I've been able to step back and take a break.

As we are back in lockdown, I don't have to deal with so many mask wearers and that is a blessing!! It's almost a relief that I don't have to keep going to the shops and dealing with people. We are being as careful as we can and so that means we aren't going out as much and I think this in turn means that I can give myself time to feel stronger again. I'm not hiding away, I just need to give myself a break. I'm not feeling as 'deaf' as I did a few weeks ago. I am slowly finding ways of managing the masks and becoming more confident about making a fuss.